Sep 28, 2007

Protect Your Stick

The game coming up tomorrow is not just a football match up, but also a Trophy Game. We are already down 1 trophy (The Megaphone) thanks to Michigan State, we must hold on to the Shillelagh.

I know some of you and the University itself don't really play up these things, but I think they are important and the history behind them is pretty cool. We should be embracing these things and putting them on the front line with us, as most schools do with there trophies... it's badass.

If you want to know more about ALL our trophies click THIS LINK and it will show you the post I did earlier this year about these things. Have Fun and GO IRISH!!!

McStug signature on 4 Horseman Lounge

Doughboy Fairies

Prediction: IRISH 27 -Boiler Sissy Fairies 24

Headbutts And Groin Kicks... Boiler Week

  • Jimmy Clausen. Your predecessor straight up OWNED Purdue. In fact, Quinn threw for more yards against Purdue than any other QB has done to any team in all of history.Or so I've been told by ESPN radio. Everyone knows Weis wants to run the football, and we should, but Jimmy can be the tipping point for the victory here.
  • Offensive line. Are you foaming at the mouth yet? Purdue's schedule has been soft and their run D has been suspect. Time to get it clicking by knocking dicks into the dirt and protecting our boy Jimmy.
  • Darrin Walls. Time for redemption from last years game.
  • Weis. You OWN Tiller... keep it that way.
  • All Irish fans traveling to the game. Be many and be loud.

Groin Kicks

  • Ben Smith from Fort Wayne's Journal Gazette. Screw you. You are a hack who can never decide if you are a fiction writer, sports writer, or bearded fairy. Rothstein should stomp your nuts.
  • Drum bangers. You say its the worlds largest drum, fact says it is the 3rd largest. Liars.
  • Tiller. Go sell some oatmeal and life insurance to geriatrics... and stay the hell away from Endor.
  • All Purdue fans. Your time is up.

NDLNA Is The Shizniznit... Here's Why:

Irish fans do yourself a favor. Check out The link is on the right hand side of this page. This is the place where Irish fans come together and post, share, and comment on stories all over the web. And now, NDLNA has provided a new service; player profiles. This is actually a quite dominant feature as it is lets the user link to a all the main profile settings, and it provides all the stories about he player on NDLNA. So if you want to check up on my dude John Goodman, or Sam Young or how about Kallen Wade, its all at your fingertips at one site. Freaking awesome!

Sep 27, 2007

I Had Ribs For Lunch...Linkorama

A few notes for the Irish faithful...
  • Chris Stewart has left the football team. I would write more about this, but Her Loyal Sons have already put something together. This is the 3rd player to leave in as many weeks.
  • Demetrius Jones is now a Bearcat. They welcome him at Nippert.
  • Omar Hunter may not be a Skunkbear, but the Poodle is hot after him. Hunter received an offer from USC. He seemed very excited about the offer, but said he remains committed to the Irish.
  • If you haven't heard about the new blog Legends of South Bend, you are lost. It is a creation of Aaron Taylor's and has a lot of good stuff on it including interviews with former Irish Players and Coaches. They haven't returned my phone calls, so better check it out... I might be a while.
  • Headbutts And Groin Kicks coming tomorrow. But here's some kicks to keep you satisfied...

Sep 26, 2007


This season has been so bad my rating went from an "R" to NC-17.... minus the nudity.

JustSayHi - A Free Dating Website

Purdue Is The Whiny Bitch Of Indiana

Of all the colleges and universities in Indiana, one stands out at the biggest bitch. Purdue. Some people have described their alumni and fan base as having middle-child syndrome, when in fact, Purdue has been playing 3rd fiddle for what seems like forever.

It must be hard for Purdue. When football rolls around it's all about the Irish. Then basketball comes and everyone is talking about the Hoosiers. Does Purdue even have any aspirations of being more than just a little bitch that tries to feel better about itself by kicking a GIANT when its down? Probably not. They are who they are... whiny bitches. But can you blame them? Their best seasons aren't even National Title caliber seasons. They have NONE.

Funny thing about the Boilers this year, they are 4-0 and nobody is talking about them. Of course when you play 2 MAC schools, a Div 1-AA school, and major Big Ten Conference opponent Minnesota (what a fucking joke Tim Brewster is), what does one expect. Unless of course you are Michigan and Ohio State.

Which brings me to another reason why Purdue is a whiny bitch. Unlike their bigger, badder conference foes, Purdue hides behind The Big Integer as if it actually means something to be a part of that collection of underachievers. Seriously, win a National Title in my lifetime or my great grand children's lifetime or sometime before Touchdown Jesus comes back for the Apocalypse.

You will never be as loved as ND.
You will never be as feared as ND.
You will never be as hated by the masses because of being the fucking shit for like ever like ND.

You are a whiny bitch.
You are a 3rd tier team in your beloved Big Ten Plus One That Makes It An Integer Conference.
You have a big drum. Yea!

Obvious Boiler Fan Breaking Down.

Sep 25, 2007

Purdue Week... Let's Beat The Drum!


Sep 24, 2007

Reuland To Transfer

Konrad Reuland is leaving Notre Dame. No word on where he is going to transfer to. This is the 3rd player to transfer this year and all of them were from this sophomore class (Frazer and Jones).

A Chat With Demetrius

While at the game Saturday, I was surprised as I looked to my left and saw former Notre Dame quarterback Demetrius Jones. I quickly went from surprise to inquisitive. I wished DJ good luck in the future and asked him a few questions. I was kind of took back at what he said and how he acted. Here is a run down of those events. Please allow me to paraphrase as I did not have a recorder or pen with me.

  • He came down to my seat which was right in front of the Vonage pre/post game booth.
  • His main concern was contacting sideline reporter Alex Flanagan (right name?)
  • He saw her on the phone and told me quite arrogantly, See that pretty lady on the phone? I bet you she's trying to get a hold of me.
  • As the team left the field for halftime, he yelled out at a few players. Aldridge was the only one to wave at him.
  • As Weis walked by he asked me Do you think I could hit Weis's fat head with this phone? He muttered something else as he laughed about what he just said.
  • Frustrated with not being able to contact Alex with his phone, he asked to borrow mine. Intrigued about what was going on, I let him use it and now I have her number saved... for future use.
  • Said he wished she wasn't pregnant. That's one fine lady.
  • When asked about his departure he stated, You saw what happened on the field. Everyone did. I mean its just a bunch of shit.
  • He was finally able to get the reporter by having an usher stop her and tell her to look up.
  • She looked surprised to see him and pointed at him to come down to talk with her.
  • He left.

I'm not sure what to make of this but he sounded like there was a LOT of hard feelings toward Weis. He did seem genuinely concerned about the team. However, it was clear to me that he wanted, or needed, even more of the spotlight on him.

Please remember this is just a paraphrasing that I put together as best I could. I am not trying to kick the kid, just relaying to you what I heard and saw.

Photos by Jon Hauenstein.

Headbutts And Groin Kicks... Post Sparty

  • James Aldridge. Thanks for the effort. One of the few positives from the game was Aldridge and his 100 yard game. He is hungry... feed him.
  • Robert Hughes. He really looks like the short yardage back we have been needing. He will be a load in the future.
  • Travis Thomas. No penalties and your one carry for one yard and one touchdown was a thank-you from Weis for playing your heart out all the time.
  • Brian Smith and Kerry Neal. Two more frosh that are playing themselves into the lineup with the skills to get penetration and close in on the QB.
  • Mo Crum. "All heart Rock."

Groin Kicks

  • Geoff Price. Kick the FUCKING BALL!
  • Weis. 4th down and one can be a throwing down too.
  • Mark Dantonio. Please bring back Johnelle.
  • Lambert. Look for the ball in the air.
  • Spartans. Have fun with your meltdown later this year.

From the Mind of $crot...9/24

Sports, like a fine woman, will seduce you until you crack. Sports will lift you up high in the air and then drop you. I am going through an interesting period of time with my teams right now. I live and die with the Mets and the Irish. I am a Dallas fan, but I like fantasy NFL better. Last week I found my mood getting increasingly worse as we got closer to Saturday. Forget about the fact that it took the Irish over three games to score an offensive touchdown. I was watching in agony as the Mets’ lead in the NL East dwindled as the bullpen managed to blow every game. I think that the Mets are going to pull off a second consecutive NL East crown, and since this is an ND site, I will get to the Irish.
Is it possible that my column from last week managed to make it to Coach Weis’ desk? Did the rest of you see the power running game they broke out? (I, for one, think that maybe Lou Holtz was calling the plays.) Hughes and Aldridge were running hard. By the way, did anyone see who scored the first touchdown of the year? That’s right, Travis Thomas. The same Travis Thomas that was MIA since the Tech game, aside from the waxing of the Penn State player.
I have come to the conclusion that this Irish team is just going to have to take baby steps until they can mix everything together. But weren’t they supposed to be doing that during spring and summer practices? I am seeing the inability to take the basic fundamentals of football (run, pass, tackle, block) and combine them into a whole game. What exactly is going on during practice time? Am I asking too many questions? At this point I am sick of getting drunk on Saturdays and not being happy about it.
Up next is 4-0 Purdue who is tied for #25 in the USA Today poll and is putting up an average of almost 49 points per game. They put up 52 in the first two and 45 in the last two. The Irish won 35-21 last year in South Bend. Purdue is another team that is looking for a little payback from the last couple of years. If the Irish continue that this pace, it could get ugly.
The Irish are 0-4 for the first time in their history and it doesn’t look good for this week. Looks like I’ll spend the week stocking up on Busch Lights. Word.

The Darkness Continues

I'll have my Headbutts and Groin Kicks out soon. The mourning continues, hence the black background. I feel like Charlie Murphy, and Sparty is Rick James... this sucks.

Sep 22, 2007

Gameday... Sparty

Sorry. No headbutts or groin kicks today. After all, this is training camp right? I'm in South Bend and am recovering from the epic battle I had with Sparty himself. Though he was not mortally wounded, I did rip his thumb off of him and he was last seen running down Michigan Street crying about Persians. Hey, I'm Sicilian and you should really be worrying about the IRISH you big headed freak.




Sep 19, 2007

Sep 18, 2007

Roster Moves?

Training camp huh. Well from what I remember from training camps , they decide who the starters will be for the season. And unlike the camp they had in August, this one is a full blown ass kicking. Full pads, full contact. This may be the most important week for the Irish this year.

Here is a look at what may be the starting Offense and Defense come Saturday. These are strictly hunches and a small wishlist, but what the hell else do we have?

  • QB- Clausen
  • FB- Schwaap
  • RB- Aldridge
  • WR- Parris
  • WR- West
  • WR- Kamara
  • LT- Young
  • LG- Olsen
  • C- Sullivan
  • RG- Carufel
  • RT- Duncan
  • TE- Carlson

There should be a change to a more power style offense. Think more I-formations and 2 tight sets with Yeatman on the other side and more throws designed to go to the tight end. I feel Weis will try to get the running game into focus and base the Air attack off of that, with more play action and a continuing trend of screens. No Grimes? I'm not sure about David. He may see less playing time if his first two steps off the line don't get any better. Weis may also want bigger body receivers such as Parris and Kamara in to help with run blocking on the edge. The line is antibody's guess, and I'm probably wrong about Duncan... I just hope I'm not.


  • DE- Brown
  • DE- Laws
  • NT- Kuntz
  • LOLB- S. Smith
  • ILB- Crum
  • ILB- Brockington
  • ROLB- Vernaglia
  • CB- Lambert
  • CB- Walls
  • S- Bruton
  • S- Zbikowski
  • NB- NcNeil

This doesn't look too different but looks can bee deceiving. John Ryan has to be replaced. He just is not physical enough or athletic enough... which makes you wonder why he was out there to begin with. Scott Smith is listed as an inside LB but I remember in August Corwin Brown said he could be used on the outside as well. Also another thing to consider, is that we may be in more 4-3 sets this week as MSU is more of a running team than in the past. If that's the case, multiple personnel groupings will be used and Toryan Smith and Dwight Stephenson will be used more frequently. I actually think that when the Irish go to a more conventional 4-3 (as they do on running downs) Crum, Brockington, and Toryan Smith should be on the field together. Also, Ambrose Wooden will more than likely be replaced as the Nickel back by Raeshon McNeil. Wooden is playing like he runs a 5.5 40 time. He is thinking too much and it is slowing him down. McNeil looks more fluid out there and should give the Irish more of what they need out of the Nickel spot.

Once again, these are just guesses. The main idea is that there should be, and WILL be, changes amongst the starters on both sides of the ball. Perhaps Weis will divulge into what these changes might be on Thursday, but then again... we've been down this road before.

A little humor might be in order for this season. So with that in mind, here's a video I saw on Youtube and laughed my ass off watching it. I hope it can do the same for you.

Sep 17, 2007

New Offensive Line Commits

Rakes of Mallow put out an AD for new players and it worked. My underground recruiting network unveiled 5 new commits.

Right Tackle

Right Guard


Left Guard

Left Tackle

And now an interview with new Left Tackle commit; Chewbacca.

Subway Domer: So Chewy, may I call you that?

Chewbacca: Auurrggh

SD: Thanks. Chewy, why now? Why Notre Dame?

CB: Aurg Aurgh Aurrgh. Mpfh.

SD: I see. So early playing time was key in your decision. Do you think that because of your previous experience in guarding Han Solos back that it gives you an edge in protecting Jimmy's blind side?

CB: Aurgh mpfh mewfh.

SB: So you thought the beat down Jimmy took the last 2 games was inexcusable? How did that make you feel seeing Jimmy lay there with no one to help him up after they blew their 1,987,492nd blocking assignment?

CB: *sniff*snort* Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!

SD: Do you love Jimmy?

CB: (nods head up and down)

SD: Did you know that just recently, The Incredible Hulk, Sloth, The Thing, and Thor all verbally committed to coach Weis?

CB: Mpfh. hahaha.

SD: So you did know, and are excited. Me too buddy. Maybe these guys will understand the meaning of TEAM and put an emphasis on playing hard. What do you think?

CB: Aurgh, aurgh mphhf aug mpfh aug.

SD: Thanks Chewy.

ESPN Sounds Surprisingly Sad

I have not listened to what Mark "Mary Kay" May has said about the Irish. Nor do I want to. Actually I am sick of the coverage nationally of a season in despair. But that is what comes with being the most premier name in all of College Football. Ratings. With that said I did look upon 2 clips that ESPN provided on their website and it was surprisingly somber. Do they mourn us as well? The douche on Cold Pizza (or whatever its called now) didn't even tempt to mock the Irish. Of course Mike Golic would see him in the hall and flat stomp his ass.

The Darkness

Until further notice, Subway Domer is in mourning. Maybe a 6 win season can make me feel better, or even a positive play for 25 yards. I'm not sure, but this feels an awful lot like a funeral. That's why it's black...bitch.

Headbutts And Groin Kicks...Post-Michigan

Only one headbutt goes out this week for the Michigan game; Jimmy Clausen. He took an ass whooping the likes of which would kill mere mortals. I am almost afraid to give one to him though... one more hit and he may end up in the morgue. Keep eating your vitamins, and saying your prayers, brother.

Groin Kicks

  • Offensive line. Are your nuts getting sore by now fellas? Obviously Sullivan isn't phased by the kick in the junk, or else he wouldn't be laughing.
  • Demetrius Jones. You have no nuts or else you might have come clean with Weis and the team about your departure. A rare Vagina Kick is in store for you.
  • Weis. It's in the end, your responsibility to make sure the team can at least compete as a football team. I have not seen one this year.
  • Mike Hart. Just because I don't like you.

From The Mind Of $crot

I welcome a new member of the Subway Domer team, $crot. He will be providing a weekly commentary of HIS thoughts, dreams, and hopes for the Football team. Here is his first excerpt which was e-mailed to me today...

From the mind of Scrot
September 17, 2007
Before the season I thought that this team might struggle a little. I thought that the lack of experience would hurt us in critical situations. I spent another preseason listening to Mark May run his mouth about us starting out the year 0-8, while he was obviously trying hard to start shit with Lou. I watched him go on and on about how bad we were going to be. I just kicked back and said to myself, "This guy’s full of shit". The problem I am faced with now is that I half-ass believe him now.
While watching the Michigan Massacre I couldn't believe what I was seeing! The O-Line is god awful. We are trying to groom a freshman quarterback to be the next best thing when he’s running for his life. Clausen holds on to the ball too long. The defense is playing on their heels. We made Mike "Bacca" Hart look like a top 5 NFL prospect (when he’s clearly not). Price is the only player that’s doing his job. I don’t think of myself as a football genius, but when your punter is having the best year on your team, something must be wrong.
So who gets the blame? Are the players that bad, or are they not being prepared well enough. Clausen has shown some signs that he’s going to be OK. Personally I thought he looked very frustrated with the play calling. Where are these highly rated recruits that were supposed to be one of the best classes in the country? Where’s Travis Thomas? Are the new players not mixing well with the old players, or even some of Willingham’s holdovers? Something has got to give and it has to happen this week.
Michigan State always comes ready to play in South Bend. They have a new coach and are looking for revenge from the game they gave away last year. This game is a must win for the Irish and can help set the tone for the rest of the season. Here is my one suggestion for the coaching staff: Get back to the basics! Use a power running game to set up the pass. Get Clausen out of the gun and under center. Use some 3 step drops and have him get rid of the ball. Please go back to the 4-3 defense. Sustain a drive and score a touchdown.
The fact of the matter is that ND has NEVER started a year 0-4. Not Davie, not Willingham, no one. It’s high time that Coach Weis figure out that he’s not a genius and the basics are what can win games.

Sep 15, 2007

Phrase Of The Day












Sep 13, 2007

Disturbing Case

This was sent to me just a few moments ago.

>> >>Columbus, OH (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Franklin County courtroom drama yesterday when hechallenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the University of Michigan Wolverines,whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Pregame Headbutts And Groin Kicks... Skunkbear Edition

Here are our headbutts and groin kicks for those stupid Skunkbears. Remember always, MICHIGAN SUCKS!


  • John Sullivan, Dan Wenger, Mike Turkovich, Paul Duncan, and Sam Young. Seriously take this headbutt and and do something with it. Your play will probably determine the outcome of the game.
  • Armando Allen. Time to really breakout.
  • John Carlson. Just be there.
  • Anthony Vernaglia and John Ryan. Time to get beyond aggressive, and into fucking headhunter mode.
  • Terrail Lambert. One word; REDEMPTION.
Groin Kicks
  • Mike Hart. He keeps running his mouth. A swift kick to the junk is necessary. By the way, He looks hurt again, don't be surprised if he comes up lame after Toryan Smith unloads a can of I just fucked you up on him.
  • Lllloyd Carr. I hate to see you go.
  • Chad Henne. Scoreboard injuries are never cool.
  • The creators of Michigan Stadium. WORST STADIUM EVER.

Here is a video that I'm sure we all have seen online or at home. It is fitting for this week and this game. Watch it, then find a dog, an old lady, a homeless guy, or whoever you can find and throw a viscous headbutt their way.

Sep 11, 2007

Skunkbear Week... Feel Free To Be 14 Again

Here are a few of the many images of the suckiness of Michigan. Feel free to use at your own pleasure. Send them to a Skunkbear, a neighbor, or just some random douche. Remember, it IS Meatckicken week...and they fucking suck!

More this week!

Sep 10, 2007

Clausen VS. Mallett


Michigan announced today that Chad Henne would not play Saturday versus Notre Dame.

Henne listed as week-to-week after injury against Oregon
Associated Press
Updated: September 10, 2007, 2:21 PM ET

ANN ARBOR, Mich. -- Injured Michigan quarterback
Chad Henne will not play against Notre Dame.
Wolverines coach Lloyd Carr did not provide a timetable for Henne's return, listing him Monday as week-to-week. The senior was knocked out of the second half of Saturday's 39-7 loss to Oregon.
Ryan Mallett will start against the Fighting Irish on Saturday at home in a matchup of storied teams with 0-2 records.
"This test will be different than any he's had," Carr said. "But I can guarantee you that he's not intimidated."
Carr declined to confirm Saturday's ABC-TV report that Michigan trainer Paul Schmidt said Henne had a lower-leg injury.
The senior struggled in his first 1½ games as the Wolverines opened with two losses at home for the first time since 1959.
Henne was 12-of-23 for 172 yards with a touchdown and an interception, a pass that sailed into double coverage on the opening drive against Oregon. In the opener, he was 19-of-37 for 233 yards with a score and an interception in Appalachian State territory.
Henne connected with Adrian Arrington late in the first quarter against Oregon, giving Michigan a 7-3 lead and tying a school record. It was the senior quarterback's 72nd touchdown pass, tying John Navarre.
Mallett started the second half and threw an interception midway through the third quarter. He finished with six completions in 17 attempts for 49 yards.
The freshman from Texarkana, Texas enrolled at Michigan in January and participated in spring practice.
"That helps a lot," offensive tackle Jake Long said. "It's kind of like he's a redshirt freshman."
Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press

Let the 4 year war begin Saturday. Let the shit-talking

Sep 9, 2007

Post-Game Notes...Penn State

Jimmy Clausen made his first career start Saturday at Penn State.

Well, at least it is Michigan week. I can not believe I can say that, but after Oregon's ass-kicking of the Skunkbears and our own beatdown at the hands of Penn State, ND and Meatchicken will face off with both teams being 0-2. First time in history.

But before we can get to that, let's get some closure on this last debacle.

Coddling Clausen

Charlie Weis did what I expected him to do with a freshman quarterback. He protected him early with quick passes and had him throw mostly swings and screens to start off the game. Good. The problem, was that he kept him doing this for most of the game. Getting Jimmy some completions and letting his confidence grow was a good thing, but I don't think Jimmy has or had a lack of it to begin with. Granted, the times ND threw the ball down field Jimmy was running for his life, but those were situations where the defense knew that the Irish were going to anyways. This anemic offense hobbled the team and itself in a variety of ways.

Flag Happy

You could sense after Paul Duncan was flagged for a false start before the first play from scrimmage, that this might be an ugly game for the line yet again. The Irish were flagged 14 time for 97 yards Saturday. Most of which were caused by a member of the offensive line. The rush off the ends for Penn State was so good, you almost can't blame Duncan for the ones called against him...almost.


For the second game in a row this year (and we've only had two), blitz protection has been abysmal. Give credit to the defensive line of PSU for taking on two O-Lineman at a time to allow the blitzing party. Clausen was sacked 5 times. Now while this is a slight improvement from last week, it is still absolute SHIT.

The New Laura Quinn

The Clausen family is the new quickshot for ABC/ESPN this year. Somebody had to of kept track of how many time they went to a shot of the whole family during the game. I really don't care if Momma winces in pain after her little boy was just thrown to the turf, show something else...please.

Give Brown A Break

The defense was on the field way too long. This was in part due to the ineffectiveness of the Irish offense. Another reason why the Irish defense looked so spent, was the fact that the punt team was comprised of a lot of Irish starters on the defensive side of the ball. We punted 10 times.


  • Jimmy Clausen. Jimmy showed a lot of maturity and poise while under attack from defenders because of an offensive line that lacked maturity and poise.
  • Tommy Z. 3 inches from taking it all the way. Add that with a solid performance and a forced fumble and Zibby is licking his chops about a wounded Skunkbear.
  • Darrin Walls. Shutting the Media up with one swoop is no easy task, yet he managed to do so.

I'll take that, bitch.

  • Pat Kuntz. Another week of brawling. He's doing a great job taking on those defenders.

Groin Kicks

  • The Penn State student body. They booed the Irish band and turned their backs while they played. Classless. I hope a Tuba is shoved up their asses in hell.
  • The Mackey Award. Carlson should have got it last year, and now he is in purgatory with only 4 grabs in 2 games... by design.
  • Travis Thomas. You are a captain, time to act like one and not like an asshole. Cheapshots are never good... in front of the ref while the ball is 50 yards away.
  • The entire ND offensive line. You all know why.

Sep 8, 2007

Gameday Headbutts and Groin Kicks

Subway Domer and the dogs are a little woozy today.
I haven't had time to put out a game preview today. Plus, my head is throbbing from all the headbutts thrown my dogs way this week. I will provide a a new feature to the site. Pre-Game Headbutts and Post-Game Headbutts as well as Pre-Game Groin Kicks and Post-Game Groin Kicks. Here we go...
  • Offensive Line. They need to play with more poise and guts this week. That is about as obvious a need as national health care. The offense will only go as far as these 5 guys will take them. KABOSH
  • Jimmy Clausen. The time is now for the Freshman. If the line holds up and gives him time, he will do just fine...maybe even spectacularly. Look for a lot of 3 step drops today in an effort to get Jimmy in a rhythm.
  • Every single defensive player. Fuck up Morrelli. Period. I am not as confident in Moroni as the rest of the country, do not make me eat my words.
  • Armando Allen. Take one to the house. Whether it be a screen or a kick return. We need a Rocket-like effort today.

Groin Kicks

  • The Zombie Nation. Score points early and a take away the ball and watch their heads explode. If not, We might be better off learning American Sign Language.
  • Morrelli. He looked good... against Florida International. What kind of school is that anyways.
  • Derrick Williams. Make him wish he had back those 15 pounds he lost. Hit him and watch him duck.
  • Dan Conner and Sean Lee. A kick to the groin might help us block these two, or maybe not. Either way they must be neutralized at times for the Irish to move the ball.

That's all I got. I can barely sit still to write this. I gotta find some more headbutts. Where's the wife?


Sep 6, 2007

An Interview With A No-Name

A white out in September? Sounds fishy.

I recently typed up an interview for J.B. of the Penn State blog There is No Name On My Jersey. (Long name). Here it is for what it is worth...
  1. What do you feel are PSU strengths and weaknesses? Penn State's strength's are as obvious as the uncertainty at other positions. Offensively, the WR corps are a very talented and mature bunch. The Offensive line is an experienced bunch this year but most of them are new to their positions. I believe that A.Q. Shipley will have them working together well. Anthony Morelli remains an enigma; will the controlled, mistake-free QB from the Outback Bowl show up on game day? Or will it be the QB who tries to force passes that aren't there? Austin Scott is certainly a talented RB but it remains to be seen if he can deliver on that potential over an entire season. Defensively, the back seven are among the best in the country. Justin King a shut-down corner with 4.2/40 speed is not only the best corner on the team but also the best DB in the Big Ten. Anthony Scirrotto is an All-Big Ten Safety who is a real ball-hawk. The LBs are the best in the country. Dan Connor will be an All-American this year and will break Posluszny's record for most tackles at PSU. Sean Lee might be even better than Dan! The real question on Defense is a defensive line which has been decimated by injuries. Devon Still, a true frosh who looked to make an impact this year, is out for the season with a knee injury. Abe Koroma, who was going to start, broke his foot and won't be back until sometime after week 4. There is still talent on the line but it will be thin and any injuries could really expose a lack of depth. The D-line is also relatively inexperienced and if they can't tie up lineman so the LBs can make plays it could be a big problem.
  2. The Irish's strength and weaknesses? I am by no means an Irish expert so I'm sure I'm only pointing out the very obvious. Offensively, question marks abound. Will Clausen be up to the task? Will the offensive line give the young QB enough time to throw? Will the running game be effective? Defensively, the problem seems to be the secondary. With an offense that is still learning the Irish will have to keep scores under 20 pts. in order to win.
  3. How does JoePa walk around in the daylight as a member of the undead? Well, first of all, I don't think the un-dead have any problems walking around in the daylight. I think you are referring to vampires. That being said, Joe can do it because he is fucking Joe Paterno. He doesn't watch TV (obviously) he does football.
  4. Do white outs actually work or is it just an excuse for being colorblind? The White-Out works. They are calling for a stadium wide white-out but i just don't think it will happen. The students will be completely sans color but there will be several blue-hairs who don't get the message. However, when the sun has set, zombie nation is playing, and the students are basically moshing in the stands you will then observe the excellence of the white-out.
  5. Have you tasted the delicious treat that is the deep fried White Castle...if so, thoughts? I haven't. However it looks phenomenal. Chris, if your reading this I have got to try one at the Tosu game so deep fry one of those bad boys for me!
  6. How is the Big Integer race going to shape up? The Big Integer race? I'm afraid i have no idea what you're talking about.
  7. Does Dan Conner prefer the clear or the cream? PSU does things the right way. Dan is huge and fast but he has always been huge and fast. If anything we need to try to bottle his DNA and make little blue & white clones for the future.
  8. Are you attending the game? I will not be attending the game. Sadly, I live 2,000 miles from State College. There is also the pesky matter of finding $1,100 for a ticket. That I do not have. I will be wearing white and be going out of my mind in my living room.
  9. Predictions for Saturday? I put up a previous prediction of:PSU: 38ND: 20I'm not going to back off of that prediction now. I think the game will be eerily similar to last years game but in a mirror image. Thanks for the invite. Good questions. I can't wait for the game!

Thank-You J.B. I can't wait for you to lose either!

Sep 5, 2007

My Deepest Apologies To Mike Frank

Dear Mike Frank,

After my subscription to Irish Eyes was ended this summer I did some debating on my next move. You see, I wasn't too keen on the idea of buying out and I started lurking over at Irish Illustrated. I was wowed by that evil temptress Ashley Carter and her evil Rivals minute. I saw a ton of video... and I wanted it. I wanted it all. The headlines were so enticing on the Irish Illustrated front page... "Master List: Offense" and so forth. I needed to know what that list was and it was denied to me a non-premium member. The Main Rivals page for recruiting and college football were the tipping point.

So I quickly grabbed the credit card and purchased a year subscription. I was instantly gratified and thought I would think of you no longer. And then I started to notice some things that seemed... a bit odd. Where were the MAC schools? So I posted on the message board at II about the MAC. Oddly enough no one stepped up to the plate to answer me... no one. Isn't there a Pete and Jack that impersonates Mike Frank on this site? That was just the tip of the iceberg. The message board is appalling. Posters are rude and unintelligent on football and how it is played. (There are some who are fantastic and it makes me wonder why they are even there). I am really unhappy and pissed off. I feel like I was cheated. I will not be renewing my subscription in a year with those imposter's and will never doubt or leave Irish Eyes again (unless you do). If I can sneak a subscription in before my year is up with Rivals without my wife noticing, I will, but you know how wives can be.

I received your e-mail asking why I did not renew and if there was anything you could do to sway me back. This is my reply: I miss you. I miss Irish Eyes and all of its wonderment's that a premium membership to her site brings. I am sorry Mike. I miss you like a child misses its blanket.

Sep 4, 2007

Clausen To Start

Fresh off the AP

SOUTH BEND, Ind. - Notre Dame freshman Jimmy Clausen will start at quarterback Saturday against Penn State after entering the opener as the third-stringer following offseason arm surgery.
Charlie Weis, whose team is coming off a 33-3 loss at home to Georgia Tech, did not immediately elaborate Tuesday on the reason for his choice.
Clausen was rated by many as the top high school recruit last year. Weis said Sunday that Clausen could not have started the opener because he was recovering from arthroscopic surgery to have a bone spur removed from his throwing elbow. Weis said Clausen wasn't fully healthy until last week.
Notre Dame was held to 130 yards passing last week, ranking them 94th of 113 teams. Clausen played the final two series and was 4-of-6 passing for 34 yards and sacked once.
Demetrius Jones started the game and was 1-of-3 passing for 4 yards against Georgia Tech and ran the ball 12 times for 28 yards. Four of the six drives he led ended in three-and-outs, and he fumbled the ball away on the other two possessions. Evan Sharpley was 10-of-13 passing for 92 yards, but was sacked seven times.

More to come later.

Post-Game Rant... Days Later

I have tried to write a post for the Georgia Tech game since Sunday night. It just isn't working. This must be how Weis must have felt ( at least a little) on Saturday. Nothing I am typing down is really flowing or has any real rhythm to its reason. Frustrated, I am going to go into a point for point mini-rant. So much has changed since Saturday, meaning that my outlook for the season has become cloudy at best. So here are a few of the observations that I have made surrounding the game, the fans, the media... all of it.

  • At least the pressure is off of winning a National Title. Please take this as a notice to breath during each game.
  • Anthony Vernaglia played VERY well. He was a bright spot and a surprise on Saturday with his tenacity.
  • The offensive line is in bad shape. They are young and were going up against a defense that feasts on young lines and young QBs. But, they must improve if the Irish are going to do anything on offense this year.
  • The running game is not as bad as it seemed on Saturday. At least the Running backs anyways. I know everyone is down on Thomas, but try getting any positive yards after you are hit by 2 defenders 1 secound after you receive the ball. Once again the O-Line MUST get it done in the trenches for these backs to do anything. Aldridge looked very capable of taking over the #1 spot. Allen had a good showing on why Weis is so high on him as a burner. He looked very fast and with more reps, will be a threat this year.
  • The message boards on the net were unreadable following the game and into last night. Everyone needs to chill the fuck out! Yes, this sucks. I was as pissed as the next guy but some of you are getting borderline psychotic. Weis is a good coach and should get called out for his mistakes, but firing him... get real.
  • This is a young team. A lot of freshman and sophomores saw the field and had significant playing time. This will mean that we will struggle because of our youth. Even some juniors who played have not seen much playing time as well, so, there is hope that this was a learning experience.
  • Some people in the media are still lazy assholes still playing the speed and talent card (or lack there of). My answer to them is to read the above post and then look at our last three recruiting classes. Help is here. But again we are young and inexperienced and have a new defensive scheme. Even Bob Davie stood up for ND and said as much on the radio. Not that we need his approval, but he is a hater and sees what kind of a make-up this team has.
  • Georgia Tech is a SOLID football team. They may be very underrated and will be in hunt for BIG things this season. Tashard Choice is a Heisman caliber running back.
  • Start getting geared up for Penn State.
  • Clausen should be starting but it will be Sharpley. This will be known in a little while today at Weis's presser. How do I know? I don't. It's called a guess stupid.
  • Remember to breath.
  • 6 or 7 wins is still very managable. This may not be what we want, but it will be enough for a bowl appearance, and this young team will need the extra practice time going into next year.
  • The season is not over. The program is not in shambles. This is... a rebuilding year after all.