Aug 29, 2008

The Last Thought On The Depth Chart

Of all of the chatter about the recently released depth chart, there was little talk about one of Subway Domers favorites.

Luke Schmidt.

Luke is the "Chewbacca" of the offense. He isn't the starting TE (Kyle Rudolph) or the starting FB (Asaph Schwaap) but he is a starter. He is the H-Back and it appears as if he is the only one on the team. The "Jack of all trades" and the wearer of crossbows.

I salute you sir!

Aug 28, 2008

Why The Hell Not?... The Final Act

Welcome to the fifth and final installment of this overly optimistic prediction series. Please enjoy!

Like a crazy Wookie army, the Fighting Irish are invading the BCS for a third time in 4 years. This is how the BCS shook down in 2008.

        • BCS Championship #1 Ohio State VS. #2 Georgia
        • Orange Bowl #7 Clemson VS. #6 Missouri
        • Rose Bowl #9 USC VS. #11 Michigan St.
        • Fiesta Bowl #4 Oklahoma VS. #5 BYU
        • Sugar Bowl #3 Notre Dame VS. #8 Florida

        Notre Dame (11-1) VS. Florida (10-2)

        The Irish march once again into New Orleans to play in the Sugar Bowl against an SEC foe. This time it is a rematch of the 1992 Sugar Bowl against the Florida Gators.

        Oh my oh my. As one could probably imagine, the Gator football team and the party city of N.O. did not mix well. There were reports all week of Gator players getting into a lot of shit, but nothing really surfaced until the night before the game.

        Ronnie Wilson of AK-47 fame, took a midnight stroll around the city. He figured since he was out and about, that he might as well sell some crack that he got from Tim Tebow. This was some good shit as Tebow used his missionary status to smuggle it in from the source. Once Ronnie got his stash all sold for the night he took a personal hit for himself and whipped out his latest weapon of choice... another AK-47. No one was hurt, but he did manage to hold the entire French Quarter in terror for about an hour while he shot up every street sign he could find. He was finally detained when a late night nutria hunter knocked his ass out with a string of dead nutrias and New Orleans police arrived and took Ronnie into custody. No one got a good look at the Good Samaritan, but some bystanders described him as a wild-eyed older gentleman that just seemed "bat-shit" crazy. When questioned about the event, Florida coach Urban Meyer dazzled the media by proving he could tap his head and rub his tummy. Chris Fowler was overheard saying, "This man is a saint. I will follow him."

        On to the game.

        Compared to the night before, the game seemed to take on a calm undertone as both teams warmed up and stretched. Tim Tebow was dressed and ready despite the accusations of drug running that came after the Wilson incident. Then, as if it was straight out of the movie Braveheart, Jon Tenuta comes running out of the tunnel wearing a kilt and an enormous cape made of nutria fur. He runs over to the Florida side of the field and begins chanting an insane mix of gibberish, Latin, and profanities not seen since George Carlin. Tenuta was the hero of the French Quarter.

        The game itself turned into a defensive battle. Tim Tebow was somehow ineffective running his coaches PAL offensive system. Corwin Brown was smart enough to show game film from about 30 different PAL games in Indianapolis to show his defensive players what they were up against. Quarterback run left, middle, right and sometime a long pass. The Irish weren't moving the ball much either due to the stout Gator run defense with a couple of big DT's in Omar Hunter and Justin Trattou. When ND tried to pass, they were just a little off target and out of sync. The game was tied at 0-0 at the half.

        Right away in the third quarter things started to change dramatically as the Irish started to string together a long drive by running the ball right down the throat of the Gator defense. It wasn't until James Aldridge scored on a 22 yard TD run that the public was aware of what was happening. Urban Meyer was carried off by a cult of media followers that canonized him at half-time. Chris Fowler, Mark May, and John Saunders formed as the leaders of this crazy rabble of worshipers. But because Urban wasn't there, a slew of players followed him during this ritual. Players such as Omar Hunter, Justin Trattou, Percy Harvin, and others walked calmly next to him. It was later discovered that all of the players involved in this "walk-out" were under a trance similar to that of the CIA's MK-Ultra and that was how they originally were recruited by Meyer. What a fucking game.

        Oh yea, the IRISH won 42-0.

        MVP- Chris Fowler for dedicating his life to Meyer and taking him and his mind-controlled players with him to a compound somewhere outside of Boulder, Colorado.

        The Irish finished 2nd in the polls behind Ohio State. Just wait until 2009!

        Editors note: I am completely bat-shit crazy (man I love that word today) myself and believe this latest post should be the proof needed to lock me away in a state mental ward. Hi mom!

        Aug 27, 2008

        Practice With Deion

        Deion Walker and the gang at practice.

        Practice With Robinson

        Trevor Robinson.

        Aug 26, 2008

        Get Me A Plane Ticket

        I saw this on Irish Illustrated...

        Eye on the Aztecs: Weis would have sent someone from the football program
        to see season-opening opponent San Diego State play this weekend at Cal
        “We can’t go to the game,” Weis said. “I did ask. No one from the
        athletic department can go.
        “We’ll use Sunday and we’ll knock out that tape
        on that game. Cal Poly’s offense is a Wishbonish offense. But on offense,
        defense and special teams, it will give us an opportunity to get their personnel
        up to date.”

        I never got the phone call. Hey Coach, e-mail me and give me the University credit card number. Never mind the charges in Las Vegas.

        Procrastination + Too Many Tasks = Nothing

        So I fucked up a wee bit. I had this whole "Wu Am I?" series going on for the Irish players that I thought were going to be the players with the biggest impact in 2008. But, due to an over abundance of B.S. that comes along in everyday life and the fact that this is only a "free time" venture, I have failed to complete the task ahead of me.


        However, I am going to make it up to all of you Killah Bees out there and add a new weekly feature for the season. I already have Bagpipe Monday and it looks as if a lot of you are enjoying that little bit of piping beauty, so now I bring you Wu Banga Tuesday.

        Every Tuesday I will provide the players of the week. This will include the player I foresee to have a huge game on Saturday and it will have the player that had the biggest game from the Saturday before. MVPs if you will.

        Seeing as this is the bye week, I will wait until next week to drop the first one of the year, but I will give a shout out to Kyle Rudolph for breaking into the depth chart as the #1 TE. He's coming up...

        Aug 25, 2008

        Depth Chart For The Bye Week...

        7 Jimmy Clausen 6-3, 217, So., 1V
        13 Evan Sharpley 6-2, 215, Sr., 2V
        10 Dayne Crist 6-4, 233, Fr.,
        5 Armando Allen 5-10, 195, So., 1V
        33 Robert Hughes 5-11, 237, So., 1V
        34 James Aldridge 6-0, 225, Jr., 2V
        18 Duval Kamara 6-5, 219, So., 1V
        23 Golden Tate 5-11, 195, So., 1V

        11 David Grimes 5-10, 177, Sr., 3V
        3 Michael Floyd 6-3, 215, Fr.,
        44 Asaph Schwapp 6-0, 257, Sr., 2V
        32 Luke Schmidt 6-4, 246, Jr., 1V
        30 Steve Paskorz 6-2, 235, So.,
        9 Kyle Rudolph 6-6, 252, Fr.,
        84 Will Yeatman 6-6, 265, Jr., 2V
        77 Mike Turkovich 6-6, 305, Sr., 3V
        70 Matt Romine 6-5, 292, So.,
        74 Sam Young 6-8, 330, Jr., 2V
        75 Taylor Dever 6-5, 308, So.,
        55 Eric Olsen 6-4, 303, Jr., 2V
        72 Paul Duncan 6-7, 308, Sr., 3V
        59 Chris Stewart 6-5, 337, Jr., 1V
        78 Trevor Robinson 6-5, 301, Fr.,
        51 Dan Wenger 6-4, 302, Jr., 1V
        67 T. Bemenderfer 6-5, 300, Sr., 3V
        52 Braxston Cave 6-3, 315, Fr.,
        53 M. Richardson 6-2, 255, Jr., 2V
        94 Justin Brown 6-3, 277, Sr., 3V
        89 K. Lewis-Moore 6-4, 257, Fr.,
        96 Pat Kuntz 6-3, 283, Sr., 3V
        9 Ethan Johnson 6-4, 275, Fr.,
        95 Ian Williams 6-2, 310, So., 1V
        93 Paddy Mullen 6-3, 300, Jr., 1V
        22 Harrison Smith 6-2, 212, So.,
        41 Scott Smith 6-3, 235, Sr., 2V
        90 John Ryan 6-5, 264, Jr., 2V
        56 Kerry Neal 6-2, 246, So., 1V
        45 Darius Fleming 6-1, 236, Fr.,
        40 Maurice Crum 6-0, 235, Sr., 3V
        48 Steve Quinn 6-2, 225, Sr., 3V
        58 Brian Smith 6-3, 245, So., 1V
        49 Toryan Smith 6-1, 244, Jr., 2V
        8 Raeshon McNeil 6-0, 190, Jr., 2V
        4 Gary Gray 5-11, 188, So.,
        20 Terrail Lambert 5-11, 195, Sr., 3V
        12 Robert Blanton 6-1, 180, Fr.,
        27 David Bruton 6-2, 212, Sr., 3V
        31 Sergio Brown 6-2, 205, Jr., 2V
        28 Kyle McCarthy 6-0, 203, Sr., 2V
        6 Ray Herring 5-10, 198, Sr., 3V
        I am completely mental about the John Ryan over Kerry Neal deal. This must be evidence that ND will run more 4-3 looks this year, or Ryan has photos. Discuss

        The BCS?

        I was doing a little research and came across a few gems. These are quotes from players, coaches, administrators, and media types about the BCS on their official website. After last year, I am willing to bet that a lot of these guys are not so happy with the BCS and that they have probably changed their mind.

        Why the BCS Works

        "I've answered the playoff question on numerous occasions. First of all, there's been no directive from college presidents and chancellors to ask us to research creating a playoff structure. We haven't spent any time looking at playoff models or adding games to the postseason in a way to make it look like a playoff structure. College football comprises nearly 120 teams. It's not a 32-team, NFL-type structure. We have problems and challenges associated if we were to create a playoff with where playoff games would occur. Would we shorten the regular season in order to play games leading into final exams, take a break and then come back and finish it afterward. It's a sport where there are 85 scholarship players. The NFL has numerous replacement (free agent) players who can fill out a roster.

        "There are issues relative to the number of games you can play. College presidents in the Big 12 have been consistent in saying if we get to a 15- or 16-game structure, we're beyond where we should be with college football. A 12-game regular season with the opportunity for a conference championship game and a single postseason bowl game is where most presidents and chancellors have been at this point. The bowl system rewards 56 of those approximately 120 teams. A playoff structure would erode the base of the bowls. There's a tremendous difference between a playoff structure and a bowl structure."

        Kevin Weiberg, Big 12 commissioner, BCS press conference, (July 11, 2005)

        "I like [the BCS system] the way it is-I really do. They've tweaked the BCS every year. That's all right, so long as we know what the rules are when the season begins. I think there's enough integrity in those human polls that I think everybody's gonna vote what they think is most fair."

        Georgia Coach Mark Richton the BCS standings,Gwinnett (Ga.) Daily Post

        "I think people are looking for a perfect system and there isn't a perfect system. We've never had that in college football. I've always been in favor of the polls being the most important factor. You usually don't see too much out of line week to week with the polls. It's rare that you get a situation like we had last year, and when you do get those circumstances somebody's going to have a good argument. It still goes back to human opinions more than a computation. I think the idea that they are making the BCS system simpler is good."

        Florida State Coach Bobby Bowden, St. Petersburg Times

        "The system, even though it has things that people question, is better than it was the old way, before the BCS. I think itÒs set and stable now, where thereÒll be less and less controversy every year."

        West Virginia Coach Rich Rodriguez,Beckley (W.Va.) Register-Herald(May 27, 2006)

        "I feel very strongly about the BCS format. It allows for great interest and fan following and allows for the great tradition of the bowls to continue."

        Nebraska Coach Bill Callahan,

        "I'm not for a playoff. You have to go undefeated. A playoff would be interesting, but I think it would be too many games."

        Matt Leinart, quarterback, national champion USC Trojans (Athlon Sports Football Annual 2005)

        "I'm a BCS guy. It has done so many good things for college football all the way around. Once in awhile, if there are dual national champions, so what? I don't know how that is harmful. In some ways, it leaves more people feeling good. Everyone wants the so-called 'perfect system.' But it's awfully hard to come up with it."

        Nebraska Athletic Director Steve Pederson,Omaha World-Herald

        "I think college football has the most exciting regular season of any sport because there is not a playoff system. The whole season is a playoff system. I don't want a playoff system."
        Georgia Coach Mark Richt on why the BCS is better than a national playoff,Gwinnett (Ga.) Daily Post

        "It is my opinion that these changes will help ensure that the two best teams are playing for the national championship."

        Florida Athletic Director Jeremy Foleyon the changes to the BCS formula,St. Petersburg Times

        "The BCS is college football's equivalent of prayer in school. There's always got to be a debate about it."

        ESPN commentator Beano Cook,

        "I'm pleased the BCS has revised its selection procedures. A lot of the superfluous has been taken out and the computers have been reduced to six. I think this is a superior system to what we've had. And what happened to Oregon three years ago and USC last year would not have occurred under this new system. Instead, they were taken out of the national championship game."

        Pac-10 Commissioner Tom Hansen,

        Why the Regular Season is so Important

        "In Division I(-A) football, every game is a playoff. Once you lose one game, you're mostly out. If you lose two, you're definitely out. We got 12 playoff games. Teams take that approach. That's probably why there's so much interest. You stub your toe, you can never get back in."

        West Virginia Coach Rich Rodriguez,on why college football doesn't need a playoff system
        (August 15, 2006 from

        "I've given it a thought, and I think it's an awful thought [of an NFL-style playoff]. I've coached in the National Football League, and college football's not the National Football League, it's entirely different. This is just one person's opinion, but to even think it's workable, it's feasible, and good for anybody involved is ludicrous."

        Iowa Coach Kirk Ferentz, on why college football does not need a playoff (Dec. 29, 2005 from Iowa City Press-Citizen article)

        "In basketball there is far less interest in the regular season than there is in the tournament. Everyone gets March Madness for the tournament. You don't want everyone to get January madness for football and forget about everything else that's happening in the regular season. I think basically we are in a playoff the last half of the year in the regular season. ... People from coast to coast are watching each other because if anyone slips, you're going to be out."

        Oklahoma Coach Bob Stoops on why he opposes a playoff(January 2, 2005 from the Los Angeles Times)

        "The season is really long. It puts a tremendous amount of stress and fatigue on our players. Everybody needs to relax a little bit and understand the players are here to get an education. Let's make the conference championships a big deal and make the bowl games a reward. I hope that we never do see a playoff."

        Louisville Coach Bobby Petrino, Associated Press

        "There's a lot of football (left). When we get toward the end and we're healthy and still rolling along pretty good, and I'm sitting down to my Thanksgiving turkey and we're undefeated, I'll be concerned about it then."

        Miami Coach Larry Cokeron why he doesn't worry about the BCS standings in mid-October(October 18, 2004 from the Miami Herald)

        "If those teams (non-BCS) have equal access to the BCS, strength of schedule must be comparable. It's a little different stepping up once or twice a year when we do it 10 or 11 times a year."

        Tommy Bowden, Clemson football coach(September 17, 2004 from Denver Post article)

        "You're not going to see a playoff in the next decade. In the BCS, every game really does matter. College football probably has the most vibrant regular season in sports. The conference races shape national landscape, culminating in a holiday football smorgasbord."

        Jim Delany, Big Ten Commissioner(August 10, 2004 from a CBS article)

        "Bowl games bring a measure of importance to the regular season not seen in other sports. If teams are simply playing for seeding for a playoff, the outcomes would not mean as much and the interest and excitement, likewise, would not be as feverish. No other intercollegiate sport plays as few regular season games as football and every game means something, conference championships mean something.

        "You tell me what other sport, three months before the conclusion of the season, has a game that captures the fancy of the country? There are a lot of things that take place week to week. It's like an ongoing drama. Now, if people want a playoff, let's talk about what it does to the regular season. Anybody who says it has no effect has their head in the sand."

        Mike Tranghese, Big East Commissioner(Fall 2002, from USA Today article)

        "Big-time college football depends on a meaningful regular season. It can't become college basketball, which, for the largest segment of the sports public, begins the first week of March."

        Tim Cowlishaw, Dallas Morning News(November 27, 2001)

        "I've told college football coaches if they ever go to a national playoff system, they're ridiculous. The NCAA tournament has gotten to the point where nothing else counts any more other than to win the whole thing."

        Basketball Coach Lute Olson, Arizona(speaking to reporters on the eve of the2001 national basketball championship game)

        "I've followed college football ever since the late '30s, and it's always been decided by a vote. The best team over the course of the season wins, and I'm satisfied with that."

        Bobby Bowden, FSU Head Coach(August 1, 2002)

        "The Division I-A college playoffs begins in August and ends in January. In a 16 team tournament schools would spend four months playing for seeds."

        Tim Cowlishaw, Dallas Morning News(November 6, 2003)

        "Our system has worked beautifully. We have the best regular season of all the sports. I don't know if a tournament really produces the best team. Our champion is determined from August through December."

        David Cutliff, Mississippi Football Coach(August 2003)

        "We ask so much of these guys it's just unbelievable. We ask an awful lot of them as far as the football part, yet we want them to be exemplary students, we want them to be exemplary citizens, and that's all right, but how much more blood do we want to take out? At some point you have to put the welfare of the players (first). That should be our guiding light on all of our thinking. If we go down the playoff road, then we're not thinking that way. We're appeasing someone else, not the players."

        Iowa Coach Kirk Ferentz, on the demands a playoff would place on student-athlete welfare(Dec. 29, 2005 from Iowa City Press-Citizen article)

        "A playoff would destroy the game's most romantic feature: College football is the last sport in which a season, that period in which leaves turn and air grows cold, really matters."
        Sally Jenkins, The Washington Post(January 1, 2002)

        "College football is built on the regular season. Tennessee-Alabama, Georgia-Florida, Florida-FSU, USC-Notre Dame, Michigan-Ohio State ? that's the guts of college football, the backbone. If you put your eggs in the playoff basket, we deflate this."

        Roy Kramer, former Commissioner of the Southeastern Conference(June 21, 1999)

        Football Bowl Association

        Aug 24, 2008

        Bagpipe Monday... Ice Dancing

        The results are in for last weeks poll...

        • 39% think Joe Tiller is a great big piece of shit.
        • 32% think Joe Tiller is a great oatmeal eater.
        • 22% think Joe Tiller is a great football coach.
        • 13% think Joe Tiller is a great diabetic spokesman.
        • 5% think Joe Tiller is a great gymnastics coach.
        • 3% think Joe Tiller is a great insurance salesman.

        Be sure to vote in this weeks poll and enjoy the pipes!

        Aug 23, 2008

        Replacing Ragone

        The rest of the Fighting Irish tight ends at practice. #84 Will Yeatman, #9 Kyle Rudolph, #87 Joseph Fauria, and #32 Luke Schmidt (more of an H-back role). Notre Dame needs someone to step up and take over...

        Aug 22, 2008

        Suck Me Sideways

        I just walked in the door and I see that Mike Ragone is out for the season. I will now link Blue-Gray Sky as they speak more eloquently than I can at this point. I'm too busy putting a hole in the fucking wall. Good luck to Mike on his long rehab.

        Somewhere Deep In The Notre Dame Special Police Bunker...

        I found this at It was written by a poster named mkovac. Please enjoy.

        Somewhere deep in the NDSP bunker in Hammes Mowbray Hall the uniforms hang, freshly creased, the shoes are shined, the walkie-talkies rest, freshly covered with Armor-All and cleaned with Q-tips, filled with fresh batteries.

        The Chief of Notre Dame Security Police gathers his team together.

        "Ladies, gentlemen, the season is about to begin. We have a big task ahead of us, and it's time to give you your annual pep talk.

        "Now, I've been watching a lot of 'Reno 911' and have a lot of great ideas that I'd like to implement if we have a chance.

        "Well, we don't want any vehicles damaged like that bunch of misfits, so be careful out there or you'll be walking foot patrol and won't be able to hide in your car off campus in bad weather.

        "OK. Let's take a look at your average home game perp (unrolls a picture of a young male). This is a Notre Dame student, most likely a sophomore. The freshmen are still too scared to openly drink in public or too dumb to figure out where the best parties are. The juniors and seniors - damn them! - are onto most of our tricks and continue to slip through the Net. More about "the Net' later.

        "There are ways to tell if this punk is carrying. 'Carrying' doesn't mean that he's packing a weapon. 'Carrying' means that he's packing alcohol. That's right, Demon Rum. As the day gets longer, he will get sloppier and he will make our job of detection a lot easier.

        "Here are a few tips for you rookies: First, the young pups tend to hang out in small groups. They think they have safety in numbers, so look for the small groups. If you see a lone drinker, watch out. They are very dangerous and could do anything. Got that? Rogue drinkers will need backup.

        "Second, don't be afraid of these spoiled rich kids. They most likely have no street sense and can be cowed very quickly. The best approach is the direct approach. Each one of you has to move fast and pick them off and isolate. Move fast and isolate. Move fast and isolate. You ask them for their ID and then begin the interrogation. More on that later.

        "Third, get right up in their face. This is class warfare. You are here to intimidate these little bastards and I don't want you to be afraid of Mommy and Daddy who might be a few feet away calling you "badge heavy." We have the full force of the Notre Dame legal department and Indiana law behind us, so kick ass and take names.

        "Fourth, if things get fugly, use your primary weapon, the walkie-talkie. Always have a few fresh batteries in your pocket and practice looking official in the mirror between now and the first home game - that's Saturday September 6th for you rookies. "Go Day" we're calling it. And when it's time to get out there and bust chops, it'll be "Go Time". I'm not sure who we play. It doesn't matter. We're not going after the visitors. We're pretty much here to intimidate the Notre Dame kids and make their lives miserable.

        "Fifth: Get your 10 Code calls down. I've got a recording of C.W. McCall's "Convoy" in my cubicle that you can listen to, so when you have time, come on over. You can page through my old copies of "Guns & Ammo" while you listen to it. It's a classic and we play it at all our law enforcement parties.

        "Here's a short list of essential codes: 10-4 means "ok". 10-20, means location. We use that a lot. If you want to know where someone is, use your call sign to identify yourself, then use the call sign of the officer you are calling and then give the ten code. Mackewicz, your call sign is "Adam 12". I don't want you rookies out there giving each other Top Gun names like "Maverick" or "Iceman". You get to do that only after working 30 home games. Veterans only. Or, if you have 15 handcuff decals on your locker. That's proof of takedowns (arrests) for the uninitiated. Wojo, your call sign is "Adam 20". So, Mack will say, "Adam 12 to Adam 20. What's your 20?" Technically, it would be 10-20? with a question in your voice, but we'll go with the colloquial- that's college talk for what people normally do.

        "If someone calls you and you are on a bust, you will respond with 'Adam 12. I'm 10-6'. This means you are busy. Then when you have finished writing the ticket and are back in service, you say, "Adam 12. I'm 10-8 near Gate 14."

        "If you need Wojo to repeat his last message, say "Adam 20? 10-9 your last.” If there's a dead possum or a flat cat on Angela, call in a 10-11. If you have to take a crap back at the station, call in "Adam 12. I'm 10-19 back to the station for an equipment check." We all know what you're talking about.

        "If you get a drunk punk, he's a "10-56" - an intoxicated pedestrian, so that's when it gets fun. Officers who like what you say on the radio will give you a double click on their mike. We aren't supposed to do that, but that's just some cop humor, advised.

        "One more. If a punk runs on you, then you are in pursuit and you need to call in a "10-80". You will have to run with one hand on your radio and one hand on your Sam Browne belt. You don't want to lose your equipment and if you haven't buckled your keepers on properly or snapped your lids on your mace and handcuffs, you will be losing stuff like feathers on a livestock trailer. Oh, and if you get the punk, and Mommy and Daddy start crying and you don't know what to say, just key the mike and say, "Adam 12. 10-92". That means "subject in custody". Everybody will double click you on that call. Righteous? Righteous. Yeah!

        Ok, the Net. We are trying to close the net on the punks. This means we are shrinking their opportunities to be violators without consequence. They have to know that if they play with the bull – that’s us – they’re gonna get the damn horns – that’s us loaded for bear, and I’ll tell ya, after a few busts, you’re gonna turn into adrenaline junkies and love this damn job. They think that by drinking out of the red plastic cups, they can outsmart us. They think that if they put their booze in 7-Up cans, we won't catch them. We will. It's all "scienter" ladies and gentlemen. "Guilty knowledge". These rich punks don't know how to break the law with a straight face. They look guilty, they act guilty and they fear us. We own this place and we will not be f’ed with!

        I said I'd tell you more about interrogation. Now there's something called the Fifth Amendment. The punks have a right to a Miranda warning if you arrest them. Did you get the catch? "if you A-RREST them." If you don't hook 'em up, you can detain them for a reasonable amount of time to question them before you subject yourself to the tort of false imprisonment and maybe "IIED" which is intentional infliction of emotional distress. Guys won't sue us for that, but some scared little freshman from Kansas might, advised. No arrest, no Miranda. You can winkle out all sorts of information from these scared little bastards by skilled interrogation. You rookies will be partnered with veterans who know how to get the punks to pop their cherry and tell us everything. It's a blast and will get you lots of double clicks if you "accidentally" go open mike during questioning.

        We are thinking of buying a Predator airplane with an alcohol sniffer capacity and I've contacted General Atomics out in California, but those babies run well over 7 million, so right now that's not in our budget, but I'm lobbying Fr. Poorman and we'll see. I'd just love to see these punks crap their pants with a Predator drone overhead.

        Ok. Everyone, that's it for today. We'll talk the day before the game and we'll discuss encirclement tactics


        Aug 21, 2008

        I Can't Help Myself

        I found this at College Game Balls (a Virginia Tech blog) and it is made by the genius, LSU Freek.
        Please enjoy...

        Preseason Blogpoll Roundtable

        These are a series of questions asked by Hey Jenny Slater a Georgia blog and Blogpoll voter. This is the first of the roundtables hosted by Blogpoll voters.

        So here we go...

        1. In his "visiting lecturers" series posted on Every Day Should Be Saturday over the past few months, Orson Swindle asked each participant to explain which country, during which historical period, their team most resembles. Let's bring everything up to the present day and ponder: Which current sovereign nation is your team? Or to look at it another way, how does your team fit into the "world" of college football?

        Iran. Notre Dame is on the down side of life right now. No one is giving the Irish any shot to actually be a big time player this year, but many are afraid of the future of Irish football. Basically, with the recruiting classes that ND has had during the past three years it looks more and more like a nuclear weapons program on the rise. We will scare the shit out of you, but it may be a year or two before we actually push the button. Plus, we have a dictator for a Head Coach and his Assistant Head Coach is a wild-eyed crazy meat eater by the name of TAH-NOO-TAH!

        2. Every preseason roundup has to have some discussion of who's overrated, but let's go beyond that. Which team do you think is poised to crap the bed in the biggest way this season relative to high expectations, and which game do you think will begin their slide into ignominy?

        Kansas. O.K. so nobody is picking the Jayhawks to win a national title or even the Big 12 for that matter, but they are still ranked 13th by the A.P. and have high bowl aspirations. The Jayhawks will probably get off to a hot start against NCAA powerhouses; Florida International and Louisiana Tech. Then they trot into Tampa Bay to face off against another team I figure to be a little overrated: South Florida. I see Kansas losing this game, but this isn't the start of the downward spiral. They play another tough game against Sam Houston St. but beat them soundly and then a bye week. The rest pays off as they go into Ames, Iowa and crush Iowa State.

        And so ends there season. I see Kansas losing their remaining 7 games. (Colorado, @Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Kansas St., @Nebraska, Texas, and Mizzu in Kansas City). Call me crazy if you will, but make sure you play close attention as the preseason #13 slides to either 4-8 or 5-7 with only one conference win. Ouch.

        Others given consideration: South Florida, Penn State, Clemson

        3. On the flip side of that coin, which team do you think is going to burst out of nowhere to become 2008's biggest overachiever -- this year's version of Kansas '07, as it were -- and what's going to be the big upset that makes us all finally sit up and take notice of them?

        This is a really tough answer for me to write. But I am going to have to go with Michigan State. This is not the MSU of old. Johnelle and Bobby Williams are history and the Spartans finally made a great choice for Head Coach in Mark Dantonio.

        If Sparty can get the "W" at California in the season opener, they should have a shot at a 10-2 record. They have an experienced and good QB in Brian Hoyer and a very talented RB in Javon Ringer. Their biggest question mark is probably at WR, but MSU always comes up with a good wideout when they need one.

        So they beat Cal, EMU, FAU, and then they play ND at home where the away team has won the last 7 games. I'll put a "L" here since I'm a big homer anyways and then they start their Big Integer season. They win the first three (@IU, Iowa, @Northwestern) and then they lose at home to Ohio State. I then could see MSU running the table @Michigan, Wisconsin(this is a toss up, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and make it the big "upset") , Purdue, and then @ Penn State after a bye week. I see Sparty possibly finishing at #2 in the Big Integer.

        Others given consideration: Florida State, North Carolina, UConn

        4. Here's an "I'll hang up and listen" question. I put Ohio State and Oklahoma #1 and #2, respectively, despite their recent high-profile BCS face-plants. Where did you rank those two teams, and did those BCS issues have anything to do with it?

        I put OSU #1 and Oklahoma #2.

        Ohio State was supposed to be good this year and last year was supposed to be just a stepping stone. Some stepping stone, a BCS Title berth. They have all of their main weapons back and are looking for a little taste of the glory. Their schedule will give them bonus points if they pull off the win at USC. Once again the Big Integer is going to fuck them as they end their season on November 22nd. That's a long wait until... when is the Title game- February?

        Oklahoma is loaded with talent. They do however, lose their top 4 tacklers on defense but because of that talent stockpile they should fill in the holes nicely. Their offense is explosive and if they make it out of Dallas unscathed, they should run the table. They could very well slip up versus Texas Tech, but the game is in Norman and I look for the Sooners to be ready.

        Where did this pic come from?

        5. Last season was a statistical outlier in countless ways, not the least of which was the fact that we ended up with a two-loss team as national champion. Do you think anyone plays a strong enough schedule to get MNC consideration as a two-loss team this year? Conversely, do you see anybody managing to sail into the national-championship game undefeated?

        No team with two losses is going to make it in this year. I think the only reason LSU really got that push from the voters is because of the two losses they had, both of which were in 3OT. I can see both Ohio State and Oklahoma being undefeated, but i can also see U$C going 12-0 if they can beat Ohio State. That game will be FUCKING HUGE for the national title.

        6. OK, time for some Olympic fever. Which athlete from the Beijing Olympics -- any sport, any country, with the exception of USA basketball since those guys are already pros -- would you most want to add to your team's roster this season? No worries about age, eligibility, or even gender; we'll worry about that crap later.

        Matthias Steiner of Germany. This guy won the Gold as a super heavyweight in weightlifting. Notre Dame is a little light and young across their defensive line. This guy will pick you up and fucking piledrive your ass on top of the QB. Word.

        "I hate condoms and poodles!"

        Why The Hell Not?... Episode IV A New Hope

        The season is drawing closer and closer to the opening kickoff for our beloved Irish. Notre Dame stands at 8-1 and just a few votes away from being in the top 10. The Fighting Irish feel as if they are being overlooked and under ranked with only one blemish on their record. Three teams stand in their way for a BCS berth and possibly a shot at the National Title.


        ND (8-1) @ Navy (5-4) 42-14 IRISH

        Navy comes into this game needing only one more win to be bowl eligible. They are coming off of a much needed bye week as their starting QB Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada (or simply: Kaipo) was out for most of the game versus Temple with a hamstring injury that has bothered him since fall camp. Notre Dame and its legion of alums and fans are eagerly looking forward to this game and are ready to dish out some revenge after last season's 3OT loss to end the 43 year losing streak by Navy.

        The game was never really close. The Irish took their first three drive of the game for a TD. The first was on a 8o yard drive that ended with a 4 yard TD run from Robert Hughes. It was his 6th carry of the drive. The second TD drive was considerably shorter on both yards and plays. One play was all it took and Luke Schmidt took a screen pass out of his H-Back position with a convoy 47 yards for a TD. The third drive was after Navy slotback Shun White broke a long run, but was stripped of the ball at the Irish 22 by a hustling Gary Gray. Kyle McCarthy fell on it for the recovery. 12 plays later Michael Floyd caught a 17 yard crossing route in front of the goalline and fell back into the endzone for the score. Navy finally scored on a wicked triple reverse that put Tyree Barnes in the endzone. Notre Dame led at the half 21-7.

        The Irish jumped all over the Middies in the second half to continue the onslaught. They put up two touchdowns in the third quarter (8 yard run by Aldridge and a 12 yard pass to Ragone). This put the Irish at a comfortable 35-7 lead going into the 4th. Navy scored a TD on a very well choreographed drive of 76 yards. The Irish took the ball on the kickoff and ate up the next 8 minutes of clock by running the ball and running it some more. Jonas Gray finally punched it in for the TD with about 1:19 on the clock.

        MVP- Brian Smith: 18 Tackles. 5TFL. 3 Sacks. Beast

        ND (9-1) VS. Syracuse (2-8) 49-0 IRISH

        It was surprising that Greg Robinson lasted as long as he did. He was finally fired after Syracuse lost its 6th straight and 8th overall for the season versus UConn. They lost that game 38-0 while Zach Frazer threw for over 300 yards and 5 TD's for the Huskies.

        This was a killing. Jimmy Clausen threw for a career high 397 yards and 5 TD's ( Grimes 15yd, Schmidt 17yd, Grimes 29yd, Floyd 44yd, Kamara 22yd) as he is getting better and better as the season winds down. Robert Hughes topped the 100 yard mark with 112 yards and scored a TD on a52 yard run. Asaph Schwaap scored the first TD in his 4 years on a dive from the one.

        Syracuse was dismal and only had 138 yards of offense, three turnovers (2 fumbles, 1 INT) and was sacked 6 times. three of those sacks were via Kerry Neal.

        After the game, Syracuse called Cincinnati and forfeited the next game. Two hours later, Syracuse announced the cancellation of the entire football program.

        Troy Nunes continues to blog.

        MVP- Jimmy Clausen: 31-40 397yds 5 TDs.

        ND (10-1) @ U$C (9-1) 3-0 IRISH

        The Trojans are coming off of a bye week and boy did they need it. The team has had 14 different outbreaks of jock itch this season. The players spent the off week sitting in tubs of ice. When Fighting Irish Assistant Head Coach Jon Tenuta was asked by a reporter if he "felt that this jock problem would translate into a positive for ND", Tenuta calmly grabbed a a dead caribou carcass from under the desk and gnawed on it. I take that as a no comment.

        The game itself turned into a disaster for both teams as a killer storm attacked Los Angeles. By killer, I mean that Brittany Spears, Tom Cruise, Paula Abdul, and Keanu Reeves are no longer with us. DUUUDE. The officials delayed the game for 2 hours waiting on the lightning to pass. When it finally did, the crap hole known as the Coliseum was now a real crap hole.

        Neither team could move the ball efficiently and as frustration set in over the field conditions, tempers flared. Eric Olsen was tired of the bullshit. After the Irish came out at halftime with the game tied at 0-0, Olsen heard that fucking song from the Trojan band one too many times and destroyed the entire brass section himself. He was escorted out of the stadium by security to the applause of 79,000 fans. They were glad that the band finally was silenced as well.

        The game continued on to be one punt after another. Field goals were tried and field goals were missed. Turnovers happened at a steady pace. Then, lightning struck. No not that lightning, Armando Allen. He received a punt at the Irish 22 yard line and somehow found enough footing to juke and jive his way to open daylight and streak down the sideline. He was finally pushed out of bounds at the Trojan 27 yardline. After 3 short runs Notre Dame was on the U$C 20 with :22 remaining after an Irish timeout. Brandon Walker trotted on to the field. The ball was set, and then it was snapped... right over the head of the holder! Walker chased the ball and fell on it to stop the play. Turnover on d....Flag on the play. U$C was lined up in the neutral zone. Irish ball. 1st and 10 from the 15. Weis kept his kicking unit out there as the clock now read :13. Walker was 32 yards away from glory. Snap is good... hold is good... the kick... motherfucking good!!!!! The Irish have a 3-0 lead with :7 remaining. The Trojans tried a lateral return on the kickoff but fumbled it away to Steve Paskorz with time expired.

        Walker was carried off of the field. Pete Carroll wept as Snoop Dog beat his ass. The Irish finish the regular season at 11-1 and now wait on the BCS in a few weeks to find out where they play.

        MVP- Brandon Walker: 1-4 FG 32 yarder & Ian Williams: 13 tackles 3TFL 2 sacks.

        Next Up: Bowl Game

        Ranking: 3 A.P. / 4 Coaches / 3 BCS

        Weis Speaks & Jonas Gray Has Some Big Legs

        Coach Weis

        Jonas Gray

        Pick-Em Shirts 2008

        I can make all of these shirts (except the dog shirt) in XXXL and in a women's shirt as well. I have been asked by a few people to do so and I will at your request.
        I may add even more selections as the season progresses as well.
        I hope this adds your desire to destroy the competition and take the coveted shirt of your liking.
        These are all available at my "T-Shirts N Stuff" link on the right. So you can buy one for the season if you like.
        Good Luck!!!

        Aug 20, 2008

        2008 Preseason Blogpoll Is Released

        The preseason Blogpoll is released over at MgoBlog. It is fair to say that my #25 ranking of ND may be a little "homerish", but a Florida blog actually had the Fighting Irish ranked #16. I was the only Notre Dame biased blog to even rank the Irish. BGS, Rakes of Mallow, and Foul Balls (which granted, he is a ND fan but lacks any significant ND or college football content) are the other ND Blogpoll voters.

        Whatcha think?

        Practice With Johnson

        Ethan Johnson is tying to become an instant impact freshman.

        Field Of Glory

        The home of the Fighting Irish.

        Aug 19, 2008

        Practice with Floyd

        Mike Floyd working hard to secure a spot. Pay attention to the peanut roll!

        Blogpoll Revisited

        After a long hard look at my first ballot for the blogpoll and after watching a string of injuries, arrests, suspensions, and other factors, I have revised my ballot. This is keeping with the tradition that Blogpoll founder and administrator Brian Cook of MgoBlog has set forth. And to tell you the truth, this may not be the last tweak before the final ballots are to be turned in on Wednesday. We'll see.

        1Ohio State 25
        2Oklahoma 24
        3Missouri 23
        4Clemson 22
        5Florida 21
        6Southern Cal 20
        7West Virginia 19
        8Georgia 18
        9Texas Tech 17
        10Texas 16
        11Brigham Young 15
        12LSU 14
        13Auburn 13
        14Tennessee 12
        15Arizona State 11
        16Oregon 10
        17Wake Forest 9
        18Wisconsin 8
        19South Florida 7
        20Virginia Tech 6
        21Utah 5
        22South Carolina 4
        23Fresno State 3
        24Pittsburgh 2
        25Notre Dame 1

        Dropped Out: