Why The Hell Not? 2008 Season Predictions... Part I

It's back. Last year I created a monster and thanks to a few e-mails kicking me in the ass, I have finally decided to sit down and put my Nostradamus like skills to use. Unfortunately for last year, I was not as accurate as one might hope. But, I blame a weird hallucinogen laced fruit salad I ate while visiting my good friend Dave Wannstedt. That crazy cripple.

So here we go, Part 1 in a 5 part series...

ND VS. San Diego State 38-6 IRISH

The season/home opener for the Irish went off without a hitch. Despite protests by scores of Notre Dame alums over the ages of 65, the game kicked off at its scheduled time of 3:30 instead of the proposed 9 AM kickoff. The alums were requesting this early time because of fear that San Diego Sate fans would be bringing their cocaine, marijuana, and ecstasy with them to South Bend. Instead, 17 SDSU fans showed up with bikinis and speedos and coolers full of fish tacos and Corona.

The game itself was a complete blowout, and one that Notre Dame, Weis, and the fans desperately needed . The Irish put up 31 points in the first half led by an awesome ground attack from James Aldridge and Robert Hughes. They combined for 215 yards and 3 TD's for the game. Jimmy Clausen had a good outing for the first start of the season with a 19-22 248 yard performance with 2 TD ( a 24 yard fade to Duval Kamara and a quick slant that went 44 yards to Golden Tate). The defense was particularly good and took the ball away three times. All three turnovers were INT's with Bruton, McNeil, and Crum each snagging a pick. (Isn't odd that Crum is even playing, since ESPN has him tabbed as a key departure?)

Aztec, Russell Allen continued to impress the NFL scouts with a 18 tackle performance including one sack for San Diego State. Bryan Shields kicked in two FG's from 42 and 44 yards to put the Aztecs on the board in the second half.

MVP- David Bruton #27: 14 tackles, 1 INT and for a crushing hit on Darren Mougey.

ND (1-0) VS. Michigan (2-0) 24-13 IRISH

Michigan has been Houdiniesque so far this season after escaping with a last second field goal victory over Utah in the season opener and narrowly defeating Miami (OH). The Miami game was almost a loss due to the entire starting offensive line for the Skunkbears arrests after the Utah game from the week prior. All 5 were suspended one game. (Details were not released, but there had been whispers about a llama, a White Castle on Carpenter Road and a group of retirees). "Those that stay will be champions" is more like "Those that stay will leave with criminal records."

After a quiet debut for Michael Floyd with only 2 receptions and 17 yards versus SDSU, he showed up for the Skunkbears and DOMINATED. He caught 7 balls for 182 yards and two touchdowns. One of the touchdowns came in the last 7 minutes of the game, a 42 yard bomb after a turnover, basically sealing a win for the Fighting Irish as it put them ahead 24-13.

The vaunted, DickRod offense sputtered all day as the Irish brought the wood. A combination of stellar D-Line play and well timed blitzes kept the Skunkbears in check and laid out on the grass. The buttery hands of Carlos Brown helped the Irish as he fumbled the ball away twice in Irish territory.

The stadium was comparable to the U$C game in 2005 as it deafened several ushers trying to stop a marshmallows fight in the student section after the last Floyd TD.

Weis 1 DickRod 0

MVP- Michael Floyd #3: 7 rec. 182 yards 2 TDs and a personal foul for moonwalking back to the sideline.

ND (2-0) @ Michigan State (3-0) 34-31 IRISH

Both teams were equally confident coming into this matchup. Both were undefeated and both teams were really moving the ball offensively and holding on to it as well. The Irish had yet to turn the ball over and Michigan State had only one turnover for the year, a Hoyer INT versus Cal in the first quarter. The Irish were looking to extend an odd streak of visiting team wins that stretched back to 2001.
After a fairly conservative first half ended in a 10-10 tie, the fireworks went off in the second half for both teams as they put the ball in the air play after play and had their WR's come down with huge catches. But that paled in comparison to what happened during a TV timeout.

In the 3rd quarter, a completely naked man painted with green body paint and a white "S" on each butt cheek, got on the field and started running around like a crazed squirrel. He was carrying a white flag of surrender and when he reached the 50 yard line he stopped and waved it ferociously until security grabbed him and beat him to a green pulp. John L. Smith had escaped from the loony bin.

Back to the action... The Spartans made the score 31-24 with ten minutes left in the game after a 16 yard TD run by Javon Ringer. The Fighting Irish methodically moved down the field using about 5 minutes of clock with a 12 play drive that ended with a Robert Hughes TD from the one that tied the game. The Spartans took the ensuing kickoff 40 yards and reached the Irish 45. Brian Hoyer than threw an ill-advised pass while being flushed out of the pocket by Big Brandon Newman. That pass was picked off by Raeshon McNeil. The Irish wasted little time and got into field goal range after 3 consecutive passes by Clausen that put them on the Sparty 21 yard line. The Irish melted away the clock with 3 runs for a first down to the MSU 13 and 3 more runs up the gut by Schwaap to the 10. Brandon Walker jogged onto the field and chipped in the 27 yard FG to put the Irish up 3 with 3 ticks remaining on the clock. MSU tried a backwards pass type return on the kickoff, but it was swatted down by freshman Robert Blanton.

The streak continues as insanity prevails.

MVP- Jimmy Clausen 28-39 327 yards 3 TD's. Inciting a riot. The streets burn in East Lansing.
Next Up: Purdue, Stanford, North Carolina

Ranking: 21 A.P. / 20 Coaches