Jan 19, 2007

Rumors and Sightings

The Legend Has Begun...

These are a few of the legendary moments new ND Defensive Coordinator, Corwin Brown, has produced in his lifetime.

  • Only a toddler, Corwin was hit by a diesel truck. While Corwin was bruised, the truck was totaled. Bo and Woody had a pissing match to talk to the 3 year old.
  • At age 5 Corwin was suspended from school for instigating a fight between 2 classmates. As it turned out, he was at no fault at all except for the fact that the 2 classmates were Penny and Jill and he promised both of the girls a spot next to him during nap time. Bishop Don Magic Juan proclaimed him a P-I-M-P, and Brown was reinstated into Kindergarten with full privileges.
  • On his 10th birthday Corwin ate 20 boxes of Cornflakes and then regurgitated them into the mouths of hungry homeless people. Hence the name Cornflake. What a humanitarian.
  • Punched a puma in the mouth and ripped its tongue out. WOW!
  • Arm Wrestling Champion of Guam.
  • Named #1 on a list by Mike Tyson. Tyson would not disclose the subject matter of the list.
  • Told John Cooper to go to hell...and Cooper did.
  • Beat out the Archangel Michael in a highly competitive Cherry Pit Spittin' contest.
  • Was almost thrown out of Pop Warner for testing positive for steroids. It was later determined that the high level of testosterone was a natural occurrence for a man-beast.
  • Beat up Chuck Norris. What else is there to say?

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