Jun 20, 2007

Everybody Else Is Doing It... Episode III












The Journey into next season continues with Subway Domer's "Why The Hell Not, 2007 Season Predictions" The 3rd part in the ongoing 5 part saga.




ND (5-1) VS. Boston Crap (6-0) 28-3 IRISH

The Eagles came into South Bend with a 6-0 record, a #11 ranking, and a lot of confidence. Wouldn't you be confident too, if you just went 3-0 after an excruciating 3 game stretch at home versus Army, UMass, and Bowling Green? The Eagles got off to a decent start with a 10 play 87 yard drive down to the Irish 3. They could not punch it in as easy as say... against UMass, so they opted for a field goal. The Fighting Irish started their first drive from the 20... and proceeded to RUN the effing ball relentlessly. Brian Toal was eventually knocked out of the game after 6 straight lead iso blasts that had Asaph Schwaap laying the wood to his ass 6 straight times. Wuss. Robert Hughes ended up with the 4 yard touchdown run that would be the game clincher... in the first quarter. The Irish did turn the ball over several times with 2 fumbles and an interception that were all in B.C. territory, so the beatdown could have been larger. Thomas and Hughes finished the game with a combined 297 yards and 2 TDs. The superdouches walked out of the stadium with a new realization that this is Charlie effing Weis, not Boobs or Ty... and we are no longer to be messed with.

MVP- Trevor Laws 11 tackles (5FL); 3 sacks; Cleats up Ryans ass

ND (6-1) VS. U$C (6-0) 30-28 IRISH

The #1 team in the country strolled into South Bend undefeated and again having all media patting them on the back. It started out with quite a thud. When the SC ran onto the field the Poodle tripped and fell. He broke his patella and cracked his right wrist. The 8 inch grass(unofficially) was of course immediately put to blame. The Poodle spent the game on the sideline on the bench. It was all U$C on the field in the first half. The condoms scored 3 TDs off of 3 long methodical drives. In those drives, Booty was 15-17 for 134 yards and 2 scores-both TD receptions were to Patrick Turner. (Tyler scored the other TD with a 5 yard run). ND did take the last drive of the half 54 yards to the condom 22 after a 41 yard catch and run from Clausen to Golden Tate. Burkhart nailed the 39 yard FG with no time remaining, to make it 21-3 at the half. Since the Irish already had the Green Jersey's on, Weis switched helmets at the half to help fire up the team. Those are the LEATHER hats ala 1924. Concussions and brain functions be damned. The sight of this display of pure balls had the condoms leaking in their pants. Jimmy Clausen proceeded to DOMINATE the remainder of the game. SC turned the ball over 3 times in the third quarter and JC took the Irish to the promised land after each TO. He did spread the wealth with TDs to Carlson, Grimes, and D.J. Hord. SC took a drive down to the ND 2 and punched it in with a weird Bush Push that involved the Dirty Sanchez and a guy named Booty...82,000 people vomited. 5:31 was remaining at kickoff and 28-24 Condoms. This is a timeline of what happened next...

  • Allen returns the KO to the 27.
  • Travis Thomas runs for 7 yards.
  • Clausen hits Ragone for 15 yards; First Down.
  • Schwaap runs over Cushing for 3 yards. Cushing cries and runs off the field.
  • Allen takes a screen pass 48 yards for a TD. Flag on the field. Sully was called for holding just because he Sumo dropped Sedrick Ellis.
  • Clausen hits Kamara for 11 yards on an out.
  • Clausen to Parris for 8 yards on a slant.
  • 4th down.... Luke Schmidt 2 yard dive ; First Down.
  • Clausen hits Thomas for a 7 yard swing pass.
  • Aldridge runs for 12 on a sweep; First Down.
  • Clausen scrambles for 11 yards FD clock is ticking with 44 ticks remaining.
  • Clausen sacked for a 5 yard loss (on the 12 if you lost track)
  • Clausen scrambles to the 3 yard line and was crushed by Taylor Mays.
  • Clausen leaves the field.
  • Sharpley enters.
  • ND Timeout ....no more TO for either team.
  • Sharpley scrambles out of bounds with 2 ticks remaining.
  • Sharpley hits Carlson on a diving catch in the back of the endzone.
  • Song Girls Cheer
  • Stadium goes apeshit.

MVP- Evan Sharpley 1-1 3 yards 1 TD. And for flipping the bird to Keith Rivers.

Next Up: Seamen (for real), Falcons, Blue Devils, and Trees.

Ranking: 6 A.P. / 6 Coaches / 4 BCS

2 comments:

Sir John said...

You are clearly deranged without ND football. Ahahahah joke

SubwayDomer26 said...

No, you are right. I am.